Discarded Leadership

When is the experience and expertise of the older generations irrelevant? When do we discard the leadership skills and wisdom learned through years of experience?

I struggle with this. The management and leadership concepts practiced in past generations are typically ineffective in today’s organizations . . . but . . . how do we value those who are older? How do we honor them, engage them, and value their contributions?

Although the following is written about men, it is just as applicable for women. Although today’s world moving at an ever-increasing rate . . . more rapidly than at any time before, we must not ‘discard’ the wisdom and leadership experience of our older generations, their ‘offering’ is invaluable.

Rainey writes the following in his book Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood:

“About a dozen gray-haired men sat at the table in a prestigious country club, all former executives and highly successful. Leaders. Champions. Bright, intelligent minds. These were the risk-takers who had led big lives, checkered with success and failure. Married between 45 to 60 years, these men clearly had plenty to impart to younger generations.

As I prepared to speak to them I couldn’t help but think that their gray heads only added to their dignity. They had asked me to talk for ten minutes about what FamilyLife was doing to strengthen marriages and families, and as I unpacked what we were doing, I mentioned that I was going to be speaking a couple of days later at a gathering of executives about the three qualities of a patriarch.

What happened next was fascinating. It was like I’d touched an open nerve. For 45 minutes they peppered me with questions, peeling back their hearts and sharing disappointments, frustrations, doubts, and desires. They talked about how their adult children were critical of them, pushing them to the fringes of their lives. They were treated as unnecessary, except as babysitters, and they felt their family really didn’t want their influence or involvement.

They said the only opportunities their church afforded was ushering, serving on the stewardship committee, and giving to building programs. They lamented that the culture had become so youth-oriented that they felt emasculated, like they were done, and treated as though they had nothing to give back.

Here were these men who had once been kings of their families, their businesses, their communities. Here they were for the first time in their lives uncertain about what their roles should be. Like broken antiques gathering dust in the attic, they were without purpose . . . 

War-hardened and savvy, these sage soldiers wanted to fill their nostrils with the smoke of the battlefield and engage in the fight again. They really didn’t want to trade their swords and armor for a five iron and a golf shirt. They realized they were made for something far nobler than watching cable news in a La-Z-Boy recliner.

I sat there astonished at what amounted to grand theft. Men, older men, robbed of their glory, no longer dreaming because of a collusion of forces that had cruelly swindled them out of their courage to step up.”